Trazodone still not working. I see my therapist today so hopefully she will talk with the psychiatrist to change the dose. I woke up before 6 AM this morning.
I feel tired, but in that awake kind of mode. I really don't want to crash so I need real sleep soon, even though I do enjoy the productivity of the early morning rise.
I've been taking my meds earlier in the evening so I have dinner on my stomach. That has greatly reduced incidents of nighttime heartburn. I tried crackers, even bread, but that didn't work. The only problem is getting home after we eat dinner out. I'm not doing a good job of taking the meds with me when I go out to eat.
Well, off to work. I'm like a zombie, but a chipper zombie.
Showing posts with label bipolar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bipolar. Show all posts
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Introductions
Living with bipolar disorder is hard to wax poetic about. That's not even a grammatically correct sentence with which to begin this blog.
I am hypomanic tonight. Bipolar Type II. My mind is racing faster than I can possibly type. I'm agitated, irritable and feeling an incredible high from the most mundane task. Sorting the papers accumulated on my desk over the past several months was exhilerating. I actually left a meeting early so I could get back to my task. Then I stayed about 30 minutes too late because I needed to -- NEEDED TO -- create a form in Word. It was essential.
This afternoon I was in the drive thru at Wendy's contemplating a career change to truck driving all because of the improper way a large vehicle back out of a space. I am an excellent backer outer and it must pay better than social work, right?
So here's the backstory. Diagnosed with depression in 1994 and put on Prozac. Spent a year and half growing increasingly manic, hit rock bottom very hard when a nasty breakup landed me in the hospital, and then received the appropriate diagnosis. Well, I didn't learn about the Type II for several years. Still, I went onto the right meds and pulled it together enough to get through graduate school.
I spiraled downward into a dark place, lost my job because I was incapable of asking for help and sunk deeper without health insurance and the appropriate medication. I made horrible choices and ended up in deep debt.
Remeron and Depakote didn't work. I briefly went onto Topamax which reduced my cognitive functioning -- I simply could not think and I am hard wired to think. Looking back, I may have jumped too quickly on that med as it probably just slowed my thinking down to a normal level.
Fast forward and I ended up on Lamictal. It worked for awhile and then it did not. I experienced a series of mixed states over the course of a year. I finally broke down and agreed to take Lithium which helped for awhile and then it did not. I have not been well for over a year although I am functioning somewhat.
I have a new psychiatrist who specialized in women's mental health. She tweeked my meds a bit so I am now on Lamictal, Lithium, Trazadone and Klonopin. The Trazadone is supposed to help with my sleep. It doesn't seem to be working although I am a tad drowsy.
Blah, blah, blah. I started this blog because I'd like to write about my illness, but I have internalized the stigma of mental illness and struggle with coming out.
I am hypomanic tonight. Bipolar Type II. My mind is racing faster than I can possibly type. I'm agitated, irritable and feeling an incredible high from the most mundane task. Sorting the papers accumulated on my desk over the past several months was exhilerating. I actually left a meeting early so I could get back to my task. Then I stayed about 30 minutes too late because I needed to -- NEEDED TO -- create a form in Word. It was essential.
This afternoon I was in the drive thru at Wendy's contemplating a career change to truck driving all because of the improper way a large vehicle back out of a space. I am an excellent backer outer and it must pay better than social work, right?
So here's the backstory. Diagnosed with depression in 1994 and put on Prozac. Spent a year and half growing increasingly manic, hit rock bottom very hard when a nasty breakup landed me in the hospital, and then received the appropriate diagnosis. Well, I didn't learn about the Type II for several years. Still, I went onto the right meds and pulled it together enough to get through graduate school.
I spiraled downward into a dark place, lost my job because I was incapable of asking for help and sunk deeper without health insurance and the appropriate medication. I made horrible choices and ended up in deep debt.
Remeron and Depakote didn't work. I briefly went onto Topamax which reduced my cognitive functioning -- I simply could not think and I am hard wired to think. Looking back, I may have jumped too quickly on that med as it probably just slowed my thinking down to a normal level.
Fast forward and I ended up on Lamictal. It worked for awhile and then it did not. I experienced a series of mixed states over the course of a year. I finally broke down and agreed to take Lithium which helped for awhile and then it did not. I have not been well for over a year although I am functioning somewhat.
I have a new psychiatrist who specialized in women's mental health. She tweeked my meds a bit so I am now on Lamictal, Lithium, Trazadone and Klonopin. The Trazadone is supposed to help with my sleep. It doesn't seem to be working although I am a tad drowsy.
Blah, blah, blah. I started this blog because I'd like to write about my illness, but I have internalized the stigma of mental illness and struggle with coming out.
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