Morning Dawns

I think the title of this post is a pun. Even if not, I personally find it very amusing.

I woke up at 6:00 AM and finally got up at 6:30. I don't think the Trazadone is working. I took it a bit early last night to see if I would get drowsy and it never happened. When I went to bed at 11:00 PM, I was wide awake. No idea what time I drifted off.

This morning, I woke at 6 and had an immediate surge of adrenaline course through me. I knew sleep would not come back. So I got up and made coffee. My doctor wants me to cut out coffee, but it seems to sooth me in the morning. I don't drink it after noon and typically don't drink caffeine after lunch either.

I have that out of body sensation of things making sense to me, but not sure I am actually writing or speaking coherently. This is the part where hypomania begins to turn the corner into the bitchy, irritable, lost feeling. Dread sets in and I get so overwhelmed with downtime that I become paralyzed. I'm hoping the higher dosage of Lamictal and a morning Klonopin will help tap that down.

I have a meeting today. Pulling myself together for that will exhaust me for the afternoon. I need to pick up an appliance for work so I may cut out early and focus on the shopping. Having structure makes me feel secure. I think that's why I work so late (in addition to the love of accomplishing something) -- evenings have so much down time.